


Memoriae: The Other Side

by the_impatient_panda



Series: Memoria: Both Sides [2]
Category: Defiance (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:14:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25446697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_impatient_panda/pseuds/the_impatient_panda
Summary: Companion piece to Memoriae. See that fic for notes.WARNING: INCOMPLETE Like parts of it a very well put together, but other sections ARE NOT. You have been warned. Enjoy!
Relationships: Amanda Rosewater/Meh Yewll
Series: Memoria: Both Sides [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859395
Kudos: 1





	Memoriae: The Other Side

She opened her eyes to a decidedly uninteresting ceiling.

Metal, she realized once things were fully in focus. Her nose catalogued the scents as the rest of her limbs checked in. Disinfectant, _____, _____.

Human.

The word meant nothing...until it did. 

....warm blooded, sentient species, likely descended from the primates of the planet, developed into a class-3 civilization, capable of-

She ignored what amounted to scrolling information, and paid attention to the urgent message from her shoulder and gut. And head?

Pain.

It was...unfamiliar? Or perhaps it was just this sort-

“Doc?”

Her eyes focused on the face attached to the voice, and again information seemed to flood in. Human. Female. Blonde. Attractive. Her eyes flickered down to the left hand, though she couldn’t say why. That made her frown. 

The expectation in those blue eyes made her frown deeper.

“Excuse me,” she said when her brain produced nothing more of use. “...who are you? And where am I?” Which is when her mind reached the biggest blank of all. “For that matter...who am I?”

The blonde female human (woman, her mind supplied) paused, mouth slowly falling open.

“My name might help,” she prompted.

“Doc,” the woman replied, still looking poleaxed.

“Doc?” Frowning again.

“Doctor...Doctor Meh Yewll. Most people call you Doc.”

“Meh Yewll,” she repeated, waiting to see if it would spark anything.

It didn’t.

“Can you also tell me where I am, why I hurt and who you are?”

“...Defiance. You’re in a town called Defiance. You were shot, and hit your head.” Slowly pulling herself together. “I’m Amanda Rosewater. I’m the Mayor of Defiance.” Holding out her hand automatically. 

Meh shakes it after only a moment’s hesitation.

Defiance. The name sparks something. A...feeling. Defiance is home. Her home. 

“A pleasure, Mayor Rosewater.” Firm grip. Somehow, the touch sparks something else.

Its trust. 

She...trusts this human. This woman. This...Amanda Rosewater.

She’s also certain of a few other things.

She’s a prime, which means she has a job to do.  
She’s in PAIN, and something needs to be done about it.  
There was definitely more to this story than she was missing.

Time to get to work, then.

A castithan doctor was summoned, and looked faint with relief to see her sitting up in bed...right up until she revealed the holes in her memory. The Major, an irathient with far more vigor than sense if she was any judge, took the news poorly. She supposed that was some excuse for his blunders that followed.

“You must rest, honored Prime,” he said, motioning her to return to her bed. “Your injuries-”

“Are no longer life-threatening, merely inconvenient.” Looking him full in the face. “Is there anyone above you?”

“No, honored Prime.” Immediately standing a little straighter.

“Then I will take command. Mayor Rosewater has explained the situation at length to me, and it seems you require all the help you can get.”

“...as you wish, honored Prime.”

“Now, bring me up to speed on everything from your end-”

Her mind raced as it was fed facts and maps and numbers and extrapolations. They stood in the clinic, a table in front of them, and soldiers coming and going.

The skid of wheels out front drew the attention of some, but Meh paid no mind until she caught her name being called by a castithan man hurrying towards them. 

A prosthetic arm, she noted as the Mayor interposed herself between them and spoke in quiet, urgent tones.

“Amanda, out of my way, I wish to greet my friend.” Seemingly noticing the way Meh is studying him for the first time. “...Meh?”

“Supposedly that’s me,” the indogene replied with a slight shrug. “And I’ll admit, you at least look familiar. But I don’t know who you are.”

“Amanda?” The castithan, alarmed.

“She took a blow to the head,” holding up her hands placatingly. “She’s...forgotten who she is, Datak.”

“Is this permanent?” Datak, to the other doctor. Datak. Again, it sparked...something. Familiarity. An irritation, but...an almost fond one. Like an annoying sibling or difficult friend. 

“I don’t know.” Gorvian, quietly. “I have already sent a long-range message to the Votanis Collective asking what is to be done. They will likely wish for her to be sent to one of their specialist medical centers to be studied further if it does not right itself soon.”

“I see.” Face falling. More carefully to Meh. “I am Datak Tarr, and we are friends. I am glad to see you up, you were not well when I left. And before that, that heinous haigi Kindzi had her in your control.”

“So I’ve heard.” Rubbing at her neck. “I think I’m glad I don’t remember that.”

“...that is probably fair.”

Amanda, to Datak. “Luke and Alak? Stamah?”

“Out back, safe.” To Meh. “I was going to ask if they could stay in your home, above the clinic, but given your condition...”

“Stay.” Simply said. “Major?”

“Yes, honored Prime?”

“How soon should the party from the mines be returning?”

“Very soon, honored Prime.”

“Good.” Datak’s mouth is hanging open. “So I did hide it from everyone? My status?”

“Yes, you did,” Quietly. Hurriedly adding, “honored Prime.”

The title felt wrong from his mouth, and she could not help snapping, “Don’t call me that.” Clearing her throat, she added, “Sorry. It sounds...wrong. As wrong from you as it does from her.” Motioning to Amanda. “Doctor Yewll is fine for now. Or whatever it is you would normally call me.”

“Of course, Doctor Yewll.”

“No...no, that’s not right,” Giving him a long look. “You...called me Meh. Say it again.”

“Meh.”

“Call me that.”

The castithan doctor chokes. Meh swings around giving him a ‘got something to say?’ look. He looks away, flushing.

“Ok, then. Let’s go meet the group from the mines and see if we can’t sort out this mess.” To Amanda. “If that’s alright with you. You are the Mayor.”

“It is. After you.” Meh would have preferred to walk behind the lovely Mayor, but there were more important things to worry about. Walking is slow. The pain isn’t as bad, but she is going to need a great deal of time afterwards to rest and heal.

It was the Major who barked the orders and demanded answers, one eye on her the whole time.

The soldiers report that they have Nolan (the human who apparently killed someone) back in custody. Kinzi and T’evgin are dead. T’evgin by Kindzi’s hand, and Kindzi by the VC’s. As far as anyone could tell, none of the other Omec are awake. They have bought themselves a reprieve. 

The Major did like giving orders.

“If we have him, prepare the convoy. Stick him in a cell until its ready-”

“You can’t do that,” Amanda, quickly pushing her way forward. “He needs to be looked at first. He was a prisoner of the Omec, right? The doctor should make sure he’s alright first.”

“He’s a known murderer, he doesn’t deserve help.” Meh flicks him with her fingers, and he jumps. “...honored Prime?”

“You will address the Mayor with courtesy and respect. And if she wants a citizen of her city looked at, that’s what we’ll do. Is that clear?”

“...yes, honored Prime.”

“Jumped sides again, Doc?” Nolan, sneering from between two soldiers. They frog-march him inside.

“He doesn’t like me?” Meh asked Amanda once he passed by.

“...no. You disagreed on some things. Several things, actually.” Carefully.

“He should not speak to you so.” The Major, darkly.

“He is allowed his opinion.” Mey, dryly. “And for all I know, it's deserved.”

“Surely no, honored Prime. You are-”

“Oh, shut up. Enough grovelling, let’s go look him over.”

The castithan doctor (“What is your name again?”)

“Gorvian. Doctor Gorvian.”

He does the leg work, she watches and gives instructions. To appease the Major, she puts Nolan under for the exam. Amanda isn’t thrilled, but Meh finds what the woman was hoping she would find.

“Now this is very interesting.”

To the Major and Gorvian and Amanda- arktech explanations. And thoughts and possibilities. Basically what old her told Irisa before. Meh consults her notes, and finds the original surgery.

“Oh...this makes a great deal more sense then.”

“Honored Prime? What shall we do?” The Major, giving in to the inevitable.

“He will be tried,” Meh final. “But it will be here, in Defiance. You’ll send a judge here, but the jury will be the citizens of Defiance.”

“Honored Prime...”

“I have decided. Until then, put him in prison. He still isn’t well. When I’m not in danger of bleeding everywhere, I’ll start working on a treatment for the damage that was done.”

“You can fix it?” Irisa.

“I think so, yes.”

Irisa thanks her, then accompanies her father back to the prison. She will follow them to the mines once he’s settled. 

Meh stood there, watching him leave. Responsibility is heavy on her shoulders.

“To the mine next, I should think.” To Amanda and the Major.

“Are you sure, honored Prime?”

“It’s what needs to be done.” Firmly. “And if I need a shoulder to lean on, I think Datak and Mayor Rosewater will suffice.”

“It would be our honor,” Datak, quickly. “May I offer my roller to convey you there?”

“You may.”

It was not an easy ride. Datak drives silently, and Amanda sits in the back with Meh.  
“Are you alright, Doc?”

“I think you should call me Meh?”

“Why’s that?”

“Because when you call me Doc you’re thinking of someone that I’m not.”

“I don’t know if you would want me to call you Meh.” More quietly. “To be honest, I’m not sure how Datak gets away with it.”

“It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.” Datak, from the front. “And eventually you gave up correcting me.”

“Persistence. Usually a useful trait.” To Amanda. “Call me Meh, other me will get over it.”

“Alright.” Circling back around. “Are you alright, Meh?”

“No, but there will be time for that later. I hope.” Making a face as they hit a bump.

“We’re almost there.”

“Good.”

Amanda helps her out once they’re stopped and allows the indogene to hand ont o her arm as they make their way inside. Notices how nice Amanda smells.

The soldiers are coming and going as Meh wanders through. Describe. She finds a piece of discarded arktech and collects it for later study. 

A side tunnel keeps drawing her gaze.

“Do you see something, D-...Meh?”

“I feel as though it's important, but I can’t say why.”

“Then let’s follow it.”

Irisa catches up with them. “We found Nolan down that way. And T’evgin and Kindzi.”

“Then let’s go.”

So they do, Datak in the front and soldiers trailing behind.

They find the corpses in the process of being destroyed. They also found another lab. Meh glanced at Amanda when the woman made an odd noise, mouth clamped shut and nostrils flaring. The butchered clones, she realizes, bother her.

Meh moves on, and they find the latest one still in the tank, waiting to be awakened. 

“Sorry sister,” Meh said, pressing a hand to the tank. “There can be only one.” She paused, a wisp of a memory darting away. “Is that from something? I feel like...” Puzzled, looks around. “Never mind, leave this one, gather up the rest. Dr. Gorvian will need it, and he knows what must be done.”

“Meh?” Datak, carefully. “What is he going to do?”

“Get me a new stomach, because a soldier shot me.” Tapping the tank. “Spare parts.”

“Meh, she’s a person,” Amanda shocked.

“She’s a clone,” To Amanda. “And I’m going to assume that given your reaction you don’t understand how utterly abhorrent that is to me and my people. If you want, I’ll explain it later. For now, understand that isn’t a person. It's a copy. One who will be treated kindly, but can’t live. I’m sorry.”

“...Ok.” Quietly.

“Good.”

“This way, I think.”

They go down another tunnel.

There is the launch pad.

“Ah,” Meh said, running her hands over the controls. They felt familiar under her fingers, digits twitching towards various buttons and symbols as her mind considered possible commands. “Very interesting.”

“What is it?” Amanda.

“I’m thinking I was hooked into their system for awhile. This is extremely familiar, and I can even see a few places that appear to have been re-coded recently. The work is distinctly indogene. Unless there was another indogene who could have possibly done this?”

“I mean, there are, but none as smart as you,” Amanda. That makes Meh grin. She thinks she’s smart. Amanda quickly adds, “At least, that would be my assumption.”

“Then I have a plan.” Turning to everyone. “But none of you are going to like it.”

-090-

She was right, of course. Prime’s usually were, and it was nice to know that even when her memory was gone her brain was still working at optimum capacity.

The mismatched group around her table ate in silence, the only noise being the comings and goings of the soldiers below as they coordinated with the few remaining deputies. She works on an omec Orb/pod thing. To help them once they enter the ship. Luke fusses a bit, and Alak tries to shush him. Irisa offers to hold him, and he gives in. Berlin rolled into town a few hours ago and joined the group, wanting to stick close to Amanda.

There is a knock on the door.

“Enter,” Meh, not getting up.

It's Amanda, back from visiting Nolan in prison. She glances around, describe the cluttered space and Meh’s internal dismay with it. Who the hell chooses to live like this? No one who’s getting laid, that’s for frigging sure. 

“There’s food left on the stove,” Meh, still working. “Help yourself. They’re all staying the night, for safety. You’re welcome to stay too, if you want.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that.” Not wanting to be that far away from the action. Gets herself a bowl. “Have you eaten, D...Meh?” Scooting a small couch over to sit near the working indogene.

“Can’t eat yet. So they gave me this.” Showing off her IV back. “Crude but effective.”

“He has the stomach now. Why wait to finish the job?”

“Because it’ll lay me up for a few days, and this is more important to finish first.” Still working. “Datak?”

“Yes, Meh?” Coming over. “Some more tea?”

“No. You and yours take the bedroom, though. Or what passes for one.” Rolling her eyes. “That is going to change...but for now, you’ll have to make due.”

“You need to sleep, Meh.”

“And I will, but upright in this chair will be more comfortable tonight. And Favi Chubbs needs a quiet place to sleep, of which that is the quietest. Take it.”

“Alright. Thank you.”

Irisa gives Luke back after some quiet talk, comes to join Amanda and Meh. Berlin slips back downstairs.

Dr. Gorvian comes up, checks on Meh. She waves him off. Irisa closes everything up behind him, locking the door and shutting the blinds. She brings over blankets for her and Amanda. 

Meh turns down her light as they settle in, but keeps working. 

“Meh?”

“Hm?”

“Will it bother you to tell me about clones?”

“You mean will it distract me.”

“Yes.”

“No. What do you want to know?”

“How could she not be a person?” Watching Meh work intently. Meh can feel her gaze. “She looked...exactly like you.”

“Looks can be deceiving.” Shrugs. “To understand why we hate cloning, you need to know how indogenes were created.”

“That implies artificial. Like the volge or biomen.”

“Yes, but rather like comparing....a canoe or a rowboat to interstellar space travel. Indogenes are light years more advanced than either because of who we were created by and why.”

“...the Omec?”

“Yes, the Omec,” Still working. “They were briefly defeated by the Votanis Collective of their time, and that forced them to re-evaluate their situation. They decided to find an alternative source of food and help for the time being. The perfect combination of slave, sex-toy and snack. The indogenes. Which is how we get to why we hate clones.”

“They cloned you.”

“Not everyone. Special ones. Ones with especially good flavor or especially good endurance or especially pleasing faces or spots or a particular sort of grace.” Slotting something in place. “When there are fifty or a hundred of you running around...it makes you less than you.”

“Is that what a Prime was?”

“No, Primes were something else. The dumbest bright idea they ever had, actually.” Smirking. “A few generations in, they got bored with making us. They don’t want us gone just to be someone else’s responsibility. So they made special indogenes. Leaders. Thinkers. Problem-solvers. Capable of working unsupervised and supervising others.”

“...I think I see where this is going.”

“They gave indogenes leaders so they would take care of the cloning and raising for them, and those leaders decided slavery was bad. So we broke free.” Shrugs.

“How are there still more Primes, though?”

“We may not reproduce like everyone else, but it is random like everyone else. Primes melded in with everyone else, and a few pop up every generation.”

“And you’re one of them.”

“Yes. There is another reason the clone couldn’t live.”

“What’s that?”

“She was poorly made. Kindzi was smart, but lacked the experience to do it right. They were all flawed. Weak. Unstable. In the end...it would have been a really horrible death.”

“Worse than being hunted?”

“Debatable. A quick death was much kinder, either way.” Pushing a button. The orb floats, lit up purple. “Voila!”

“What is it?”

“Our master key.” Turning it off. “It should make everything much easier tomorrow.”

“...oh.”

“Remind me to show you the other option when we get up there. If you’re still coming.”

“I am.”

“Good.” Quick smile, looks at Irisa sleeping on Amanda’s shoulder.

“What? Something wrong?”

“No.” Still watching. “This...this doesn’t happen often, does it?”

“What doesn’t?”

“Humans and irathients getting along.”

“Do you remember something?” Hopeful.

“No, it's just a feeling.” Still watching. “That this is special. Important. Something to be protected.”

“I think so.” Smiling softly.

Meh really likes that smile. 

“Then we’d better protect it.”

“Good.”

-090-

The next day is a blur of moving pieces and shouted orders. Meh sends everyone up to the ship, and arrives last with Datak and Amanda as her travel companions. She wishes she could enjoy that more, but the pain is still very much present. She leans heavily on them both as they exit, and tries not to think about how good Amnda feels under her arm. There’s work to do!

They get to the first orb they see, Meh sends her out to meet it. It turns the same color, and she is immensely pleased.

“See? Master key.”

“What was the other option?”

“I’ll show you when we get up there.”

Irisa goes up to a pod. “...this is a child.”

“A child who would eat your face off given the chance.” Datak, glancing around him.

“Doc?”

Meh stops herself from correcting her. “Yes, Deputy?”

“What’s the plan here?” Frowning. “You aren’t...we aren’t going to...” Can’t say it.

“Depends.” Shrugging. “But I hope not.”

“You said the Omec would be taken care of.” Major, distrustful.

“And they will be. The how is still...nebulous.”

“Why?”

“Can I finish this first and explain later?” Getting annoyed. “Or is there someone else who wants to try and crack several layers of Omec security so I can do so?”

“Apologies, honored Prime.” Major, looking away. “Please, continue.”

“Thank you.” Glancing around. Finding a screen. “Anyone who can read Omec or indogene is welcome to follow along.”

“Think that might just be you, Meh.” Datak, dryly. 

“Fine, you try to be nice...” Rolling her eyes. 

The soldiers don’t wander far, and they touch nothing. Amanda and Irisa speak quietly, and Datak hovers nearby. They wait.

“And...voila.” Turning around to them all. “I have it. A solution.”

“Is it extermination?” Irisa, quietly.

“No, little one, it is not.” Poking her nose.

“The Omec cannot be trusted.” The Major.

“Neither can we, if we’re honest.” Tutting quietly to herself. “Which is why we’re sending them far away, to a new home.” Motioning to the screen. “T’evgin took a different route to reach earth and according to his logs eventually found several potential planets for colonization. They just lacked two integral things: gulanite and a sentient species for them to dominate.”

“Space travel and slaves.” Datak dourly.

“Exactly. But they did find other planets with breathable air, sufficient water and planet life and even decent-sized animals for them to live on.”

“Even given their advanced sciences, to land on and colonize a planet and then develop an alternative fuel source...it would have taken centuries, perhaps longer, before they could attain any sort of deep-space travel again.”

“Exactly.” Finger guns. “So that’s where we’re going to send them. With the ship fully refueled and repaired, we’ll send them here.” Pulls up a planet. “It’s not quite at the edge of their fuel limit, which should leave them just enough power to land and get a few decades worth of power from the ship.”

“How long until they arrive?” Curious.

“Around 5,000 years, give or take. Partially because blah blah blah.”

Finish later. 

Meh makes sure there’s no DNA on board for them to grow new slaves. 

Sends the ship off. 

The final part is done at the arkbrain center. Meh shows Amanda the plugs.

“Where would they go?” Confused.

“In me.”

“...excuse me?”

“For some reason the phrase ‘plug and play’ comes to mind, what’s it mean?”

“Uh...I...” Amanda flounders a bit. “...old world tech, I think. All you had to do was plug it in and it was ready to go.”

“Same thing. I plug these things in, and I’m able to operate the system like it's an extension of myself.”

“...and you would have...”

“Hands, shoulder, head, legs...yep.” Still working.

“But...it doesn’t hurt, right?”

“Of course it does.” Calmly. “Worse than even being shot in the stomach, actually. I think.”

“...Meh?”

“Yeah?” Looking up at her change in tone.

“...why would you agree to do that?” You...you don’t even remember us. We...how could you know we’re worth it?”

“If it saves lives, it's worth it.” Meeting her eyes. “I’m a Prime. It's what we do.”

“I’m still not sure what that means.”

“It means I have a responsibility to help people however I can.” Quietly. “I hope the other me never forgot that.”

“...I don’t think she did.” Amanda sounds certain, and Meh takes comfort from that. “Should I be worried about having competition next election cycle?”

“What?” Surprised. “Oh, you mean...no. No, I think I’m a much better doctor than I am a politician.” Glancing up with a grin. “Besides, Mayor looks good on you.”

Interrupted. Meh finishes, they leave.

The trip down is not pleasant.

“Oh, that’s a split stitch or two.” Meh, holding a hand to her side as grey-silver blood soaks through her coat.

They rush her back to the clinic, Amanda holding her tightly. 

Well, at least if I do die this isn’t the worst way to go...

-090-

Something about waking up.

Sweet. Spice. Savory.

The flavors danced across her tongue, and she turned to catch the beautiful Amanda Rosewater watching her with a half-smile.

“Hm?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you enjoy food like that.”

Shrugging with a grin. “My stomach probably made that hard.”

“How so?”

“Hyper-efficient implants blah blah blah...when you aren’t allowed to eat your fill, it probably loses some of it's joy.”

“Well, I’m glad for you.” They’re both grinning like fools.

The Major interrupts. Meh is really ready for him to leave again, but the VC has accepted her credentials and he has to stay until help comes. Amanda has negotiated basic terms. They tried to get Meh to leave, but she resisted, feeling she has work here to do. Even with Dr. Gorvian’s help, there is a lot to do and the Omec tech left behind has to be gathered and studied. 

Irisa and Nolan both undergo treatments for the brain damage, Irisa’s was really nothing, and so doesn’t really have side-effects. Nolan is rude and surly and distrustful or cold and silent and distrustful. Amanda apologizes for him frequently, and Meh finally sees the thing that puts her flirtations on hold: Amanda is in love with Nolan. Or loves him, at any rate. Amanda is the one who asks why she hasn’t been added to Meh’s now ‘weekly schedule’ of visits- because she’s very busy as the Mayor and Meh didn’t want to be a burden. Amanda insists that that is ridiculous, and is added immediately.

-One night with the Tarrs  
-One night with Samir and sometimes Gorvian  
-One night with the ‘boys and girls’ (NeedWant)  
-One meal with Amanda (newly added)

Meh is reintroduced to the citizens of Defiance, spends hours pouring over files and memorizing names and faces.

Datak helps Meh clean out her home and get some new things. 

“So,” Datak said as he happily tossed the dismantled frame out the open door to his helpers below. “Is there a reason you’ve decided to upgrade your living space?”

“Yes.” Flatly. “It sucks.”

“I mean...yes. But other than that.”

“Well, it's not exactly set up for company, is it?”

“And what sort of company would you be hoping for, Meh?”

“Hm, maybe having your family over for once so Favi Chubbs can explore a bit. That sort of thing.”

“Giving up already? Stamah implied the beautiful mayor was warming up-”

“She has a thing with that Nolan fellow, doesn’t she?”

“....yes, on and off.” Grumbling. “She could do better, though. You are certainly worthy of her attention.”

“My gut tells me to wait.”

“You’ve been waiting, dear Meh. For quite a long time, even if you can’t remember it.”

“A little longer won’t hurt.” Thoughtful. “I don’t want to start something with someone when they’re still hung up on someone else.”

“I suppose that’s wise, if you're hoping for more than a night or two of fun.”

“Exactly.”

“What makes you think she’s interested in something with commitment?”

“They way she refuses to give up on people and this place in general.” Looking away. “I think...anyone that committed would be willing to fight through almost anything if they found someone to love.”

“...I think you’re right. And I hope it's you.”

“Me too, pal. Me too.”

They keep cleaning.

Meh knows there is something between the Tarrs and the Mayor. Doesn’t ask what. Whatever it is, they all seem to have agreed to never speak of it again, so she doesn’t. She also doesn’t try to get them together as a group for things other than business.

Amanda is impressed the next time she sees it. 

Also, Meh learning how to cook and accidentally exploding a cake. Becomes a running gag for a while. 

Meh is in the clinic when the new VC envoy comes, along with the specialist doctor. 

“Doctor Meh Yewll. I am here for you to submit yourself to treatment.” Dr. Corrdanant, a Castithan doctor who specializes in trauma of the brain associated with memory loss.

“I will, but not yet.”

“...not yet?” Confused.

“There is to be a trial. I need to submit my testimony. When it is done, I will submit to treatment.”

“Surely there are others...”

“This is important to me, so no I can’t pass this off. I wouldn’t be much of a Prime if I did.”

The doctor isn’t happy. Meh has changed too much. It's hindering her progress. Putting off the treatment won’t help, but she can’t order Meh to do otherwise. Amanda refuses to intercede, citing that Meh knows what to do best.

The trial goes fairly quick. During this time, Nolan has tried to woo Amanda....and failed. She wasn’t interested in a quickie in his jail cell. A guard gives in to his charms, and so do others as soon as he’s released from his strapping.

A few days later, Dr. Corrdanant corners Meh and insists she begin. Its now or never. Go over the procedure. Meh promises to begin immediately. 

She goes to find Amanda. 

She returns the boxes to Dr. Corrandant a few hours later. 

“That was faster than anticipated! But I suppose, given that you are a Prime...we will do some tests, to be sure, but-”

“I stopped.”

“Then you still need these.”

“No, I don’t.”

“But in order to remember-”

“I don’t want to remember.” Bluntly. “And I think it's best if I don’t, for everyone.”

“...you can’t do that.”

“I don’t see how you’re going to stop me.” Putting the files down. “Thank you for taking the time to come all this way. I will contact ______ through Envoy _______ to explain.”

“But...I can’t....”

“Don’t argue with me. I’ve made up my mind.”

Meh hears from Samir about Nolan’s behavior. She sees how it's affecting Amanda, just by talking to her. Invites her to lunch. In which she finally decides to take the leap. 

Meh is too busy thinking about a certain blonde Mayor to dodge Favi Chubbs catching hold of her nose. 

Datak calls her on it as Alak listens to Stamah's attempt to discuss fashion with Irisia. He’s hiding a smile and laughter.

“Yeah...thinking about something else.”

“What’s that?” Curious.

“Possibilities.”

“Would it be the sort of possibility that makes you money or the sort that involves chupping someone?” She gives him a look. “What? Why else would you be smiling like that?”

“...whatever.”

“So which is it?”

“Ask me tomorrow.”

“The chupping kind! Hm, I suppose I can help you with this once.”

“Hm?”

He makes up an excuse for her to leave early. Spilling something on her perhaps? She does, and on a hunch heads for city hall.

-090-

Start listing the differences between humans and indogenes. Amanda’s preferences, etc. 

The interruption. Meh coaxing Amanda back into the bed, and making her mission to make everything right.

-090-

A few dates.

-090-

Meh admitting to Datak how much she cares for Amanda. Attempting to ask for advice and quickly realizing her friend has absolutely nothing of value to offer. Stamah steps in, and Meh takes it with a grain of salt but it's actually decent advice.

-090-

Amanda is wondering about love when reading a book. Speaks to ______ who runs the day to day of the NeedWant for her. Or to Irisia? Both. They also spend a lot of time together. Irisa tells her to go for it. 

-090-

Meh’s POV for the confession. The kissing and sex that follows. The way it's just right. And all her turmoil leading up to it. She woos her with dancing!

-090-

She wakes up in the morning to a nervous Amanda watching her from a chair. Explain and describe. Meh gets sucked into the notes. Promises to see her that night. First exchange of ‘i love yours’, etc.

Meh spends several days checking over everything, but decides that her other self is right and to leave it be. For now. Does have a talk with Dr. Gorvian, who has the specialist’s notes. In them is a cure...but it would delete Meh for good. Resent Doc back to before the accident, with only fragments of her ‘waking’ self probably. 

-090-

Amanda considering for the first time what happens if they swap back for good, and in the end decides that Meh is worth it. This is the happiest she’s been in years. And she isn’t about to let it get away that easily.

-090-

Gloss over the next few months. Then Meh’s new patient, a child. Describe the disease, and the treatment. Meh pushing herself harder than usual. Amanda discovering her temper when she’s tired and realizing Doc must have been pushing herself more than they ever realized all the time.

Then the kid dies.

-090-

Meh wakes to find Amanda at the kitchen table, looking thoughtful.

“She showed up, did she?”

“Yeah, she did.” Small smile.

“You miss her.”

“Not as much as I would miss you.” Knowing it's a deflection. “You should take the day off.”

“Only if you do too.” Burying her head in the blonde hair.

“...I can do half. I think.”

“Deal.”

Cuddles, some tears. Samir handles the patients with Dr. Gorvian. Amanda brings her favorite food home. More together time.

-090-

Meh decides she wants to get married. Doesn’t plan anything special, just brings it up in a casual conversation. Amanda says yes, because she’s so surprised. But also- yes! This is something she wants. 

Datak gets wind of their low-key plans, and torpedoes them to hell. It's a huge party, everyone is invited. They take a week off together, but decide not to travel.

Meh is extremely nervous the day of leading up to the ceremony. Saying ‘I do’ looms large, and it's an enormous relief when it's past. Heart so full of love it's bursting. It's not that late when they fall asleep, the sound of the party still going on below. 

*Insert earlier:  
-More dates with Amanda  
-Fights with Amanda, so much YELLING  
-Even louder make up sex  
-Amanda asking about strapons, and getting more than she ever bargained for.  
-Irisa meddling, but also slowly working things out with Luke and Alak  
-One ugly run-in with Nolan, he knows he’s chupped it all up but can’t accept it's really gone

Meh waking the next morning, especially since she’s showered and wearing clothes. Those are quickly discarded for only an apron for cooking Amanda breakfast. 

They actually go out and about quite a bit, enjoying Defiance in ways they rarely do. Picnics. Long walks. Reading and dancing. Being idle together. So. Much. Sex.

While Meh is technically free of the VC, they do make requests of her from time to time. And this time they want Amanda to come as well. Meh gets horribly sea sick on the way over, and Amanda takes care of her as well as she can. Meetings, signing things, etc. In the end, they are asked to attend a special conference just before they leave. 

Amanda is a little lost as most of its numbers and dates. She has a translator, but it's hard to keep up. 

Then it hits her. Children. They’re discussing children.

Meh figures it out much quicker, and she’s a bit paralyzed by the whole thing. Amanda doesn’t want to bear a child, they’ve had that discussion before. 

This is something else. Something new.

What if she says no?

Or even worse...says yes?

Wait, why is that worse?

She’s not sure, it's just...just...

The assembly ends, and everyone drifts apart a bit. Those who are alone leave the quickest. 

“I didn’t realize it was this bad.” Amanda, thoughtfully. “Your people’s decline, I mean.”

“We lost most of our population in the arkfall.”

“Why, though? I mean, compared to everyone else...”

Explain, explain, explain.

“...so how do you feel about this?”

“Conflicted.” Catching Amanda’s eye. “We live in a pretty special town. It would be a great place to raise a couple of young indogenes.”

“I sense a but.”

“But...only if you want to.”

“...I kind of want to.”

“Really?” surprised. “You were so against it before...”

“I didn’t want to have my baby. But you...you’re amazing with kids. Raising your baby...that’s something I can get behind.”

“They want each of us to try four times. Are you sure you want that much me running around?”

“I am if you’re ok with hiring some help. I don’t think either one of us is ready to give up our work.”

“Yeah, I’m good with that.”

“Ok, then.”

“Ok.” Turning to the leaders. “Let’s go become parents.”

-090-

Meh comes back and wonders why Doc couldn’t stick around longer. Like, maybe all the way across the damn ocean. 

Amanda just sighs. Neither one is a good patient. 

-090-

They arrive home, and decide to wait a bit before they can begin. They have to get their home in order first!

Hijinks of Meh trying to paint (no bueno) and Amanda picking out colors. Staying at the NeedWant for a few nights during construction.

“Does this put you in mind of anything?”

“That its a miracle we got any work done with how much sex we were having?”

“Well...yes, but also that particular time....”

“Wanna remake a memory?”

“Absolutely.”

They were both late the next day.

They get moved back in, and are in the process of slowly acquiring things.

Then the collapse at the mine happens. 

Meh works for three days with no sleep and little food. Too many familiar faces on her table. Too many people she can’t save. She briefly passes out on a cot in the storeroom, despite Samir trying to get her to rest again and again. 

-090-

Meh comes back to Amanda looking tired and thoughtful. Yes there was a visit. She says hi. But the work isn’t done for either of them, and they both leap back into the frey.

Its a month later when they decide to start. Two pods, so technically twins. They genders end up being male and female. Meh monitors everything through the end, and prepares everything for their births. Gifts from others. Baby shower? Hm.

The birth. Its a big day for both of them. They’re moms! Indogene babies are very easy (the fussy ones get eaten) and late that evening Meh falls asleep in the rocking chair.

She wakes, and too much time has passed. She asks Amanda about the visit, and her wife reassures her that she is indeed always good with children.

“You even let me sleep for awhile.”

“So she approves?”

“She loves them as much as you do, even if she doesn’t want to admit it.”

Meh grows quiet.

“What?” Touching her face.

“Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder...”

“What made you that way?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know. I just know that I love you.”

“Us. You love us.”

“...yes.” A little guilty. “But you are my wife.”

“That’s alright. It gives me hope.”

“About what?”

“That if something happens to me, you and the kids will still have her.”

“Why? Did something happen?”

“No.” Quickly. “Just being pragmatic. I have a brain injury. One I refused to have properly treated because I’m a selfish person. We don’t know what the consequences for that may be, no one does. So, I guess-”

“Stop it.” Kissing. 

It's a good way to end a discussion of any kind.

Babies fuss, feeding time!

-090-

Years pass. Tests are done on the tunnels, but nothing conclusive comes from there. Milestones with the babies. Starting the third child. They can’t do a fourth, the sample is corrupt. Before they can get a replacement, things go south.

Amanda goes on a work trip, comes back to find they have 2 more children, two girls that were abandoned by their uncle. Four becomes six and soon seven with the birth of the third indogene child. 

Towns start disappearing. 

Meh realizes that, honestly, she doesn't have what it takes to meet this. Her skills are not the ones that are needed, so she makes the hardest decision of her life. It's time for her to go. Earlier discussion about obliterating the block, but also probably Meh in the process. Doc will fully take over once more. Meh writes letters to everyone, but tells them nothing. Says goodbye to each one that morning, special hugs and kisses. Things have been stressful, so no one thinks much of it. She goes to Dr. Gorvian and Samir, and between them they accomplish what needs to be done. Her last look is up at them, watching her fade away and letting her old self fully assert control once more.

Goodbye.


End file.
